Waiting Our Turn

We had finally made it.  The finish line was so clearly in sight.  Nothing could stop us now.  We just had to wait our turn.  On a cold January morning in 2009 we sat in the waiting hallway outside the courtroom at the family courthouse. We alternated between sitting, standing and pacing.  We participated in small talk and jokes in an attempt to ignore the butterflies in our stomachs, our shaking legs and sweaty palms.  Nick and I were nervous and anxious, it was almost over.  I walked Dominick up and down the long hallway.  We looked at the black and white portraits of historic Sacramento on the wall.  He thought it was neat that he was missing school and wanted to know where we were going once we were down here.  I must have looked at my phone to find out the time a couple dozen times.  Where was our lawyer?  Where was our family for support?  I realized the three of us had just shown up too early, everyone would arrive soon, there was plenty of time.  Finally the clerk opened the courtroom doors and we all filed in.  Nick, Dominick and I picked a front row aisle so we could talk with our lawyer.  Our friends and family took up another 2-3 rows.  It was great to know we would be sharing this awesome moment with so many people who loved us and cared about us.  We sat patiently as the judge came in, we stood when we were suppose to and we sat when we were suppose to.  We listened as other people's names were called and we listened as the judge ruled on their cases.  After each case I would say a little prayer to God, asking for strength and comfort.  Finally, it was our turn, we had waited long enough. The three of us stood up and walked up to the table in front of the judge, we swore to tell the truth, sat down and waited.  Dominick, so handsome, sitting right between Nick and I.  The judge asked us questions, we answered, our lawyer talked.  Our legs shaking, palms still sweating and our arms around Dominick.  And then it happened, the judge ruled...."Adoption granted."  Two little words that have a significance that I could never explain.  After what seemed like years of paperwork, courtdates, meetings, tears, frustration, anger and prayers it was finally done.  While Nick and I never needed a judge to validate or legitimize our love for our son and our relationship with him, knowing that nobody could ever challenge that relationship gives a sense of comfort you wouldn't believe.  There were hugs and kisses to be shared by everyone.  We took pictures with the judge.  We thanked our lawyer, filed our papers and then we all set off for Chuck E. Cheese.  Now Dominick was excited!

In The Beginning...

In the beginning there was time.  There was fun to be had.  There were places to go.  There were people to see.  There were things to do.  In the beginning there was all the time I needed to do whatever I wanted to do.  In the beginning, sure I had responsibilities.  I had a job I had to be at every morning, I had college courses I had to attend regularly but my time, for  the most part, was my time.  I was free to do what I wanted when I wanted and where I wanted.  That was the life, nothing holding me back, nobody telling me no.  Who knew life could be so good?  What was I missing????  What could I possibly add to my life to make it any better????  Little did I know that I would soon find the answers to these questions, answers that would change my life forever.  And so begins my journey into motherhood. A journey that started somewhat unconventionally but is, without a doubt, the most rewarding and joyful journey I will ever embark on.  Let me clarify one point before I continue.  I love my husband dearly.  God placed my husband in my life and for that I am forever and eternally grateful.  I cannot imagine and will not imagine my life without my husband. My objective here, however, is to share and highlight my experiences and adventures with my two sons and I am certain the contributions of their father will be mentioned quite frequently.  And so let's begin with what I call the True Beginning.