My paths into motherhood with both my boys could not have been more different, but with one similarity, God was definitely the architect of both.
In January of 2009 we finalized Dominick’s adoption. After several years of court dates, meetings with lawyers/social workers/counselors and mountains of paperwork we were able to walk out of the courtroom with a signed order and our son. As difficult of a journey as Dominick’s adoption was we knew God was with us every step of the way. With each tear that was shed and struggle that we faced, God was by our side pulling us through. Looking back now, over two years later, I am thankful for every moment of stress and worry because I know it made us stronger. I know that I can look at Dominick and no longer wonder what might happen next. God gave Dominick to Nick and I, of that I am 100% sure, I can find no other explanation of why things happened the way they did.
After three months of trying, nine months of pregnancy and eleven minutes in the operating room I had my baby boy. On March 19, 2009 at 1:11pm the world said hello to Simon. At 7lbs 13oz and 19 ½ inches long Simon was a healthy little boy. My pregnancy was somewhat uneventful. We had a scare with Simon’s kidneys, turned out to be nothing. We had a scare with the size of his limbs, turned out to be nothing. Other than the decision to deliver via c-section that was made at 36 weeks I had an easy pregnancy. A three and a half day stay at the hospital was all I had to endure before I could take my little guy home. God protected my baby and I throughout my pregnancy, He watched over us and comforted us and gave us a quick healing.
The mere thought of my children can produce in me a wide range of emotions. Depending on the time of day or the day of the week or even the season of the year I can feel complete and utter bliss when thinking about my children or I can feel a strong frustration. I will be completely honest, not every moment of motherhood is a celebratory moment. It can be downright hard and exhausting being a mother. From a very young age our children become experts at bringing out the very worst in us. They pick and poke until your very last nerve is frayed and you are on the brink of insanity. My children know how to work me, test my patience and push me to the edge. So I guess the question is, why do we, as mothers, put ourselves through this? Why do we commit ourselves to a lifetime of frayed nerves, sleepless nights and whirlwind days by deciding to have children? Simple answer: There is ABSOLUTELY NO GREATER reward in life than being a mother.
Dominick and Simon are the absolute centers of my world. My life is built around them and for them. Every decision that is made in our home, my boys are factored into. They depend on me for health, nurturing, care and love and I cannot let them down. To be a mother is be completely responsible for another person and to love that person more than you thought you could love somebody. As ridiculously crazy as my children make me I can’t imagine my life without them. A hug, a kiss, a smile can make the worse day disappear. A straight A report card and a scribble crayon drawing will always adorn my refrigerator. I will gladly wake up at 1:00am to answer the calls of “mamma mamma” from my toddler and then to be greeted with a big hug. I will sit in 90 degree and 40 degree weather to watch my 10 year old score a run and be the MVP of his little league game. I will make 30 cupcakes for a birthday party and watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid on a Friday night. I will hug and kiss them even when they tell me no, that it is gross.
As Mother’s Day approaches I think back to how God placed both my boys in my life. I can picture Him reaching down from Heaven and handing Dominick and Simon to me. I can hear Him saying “Remember, I am loaning these children to you. They are my children so raise them well, treat them right and love them.” These are God’s orders to me. I do not raise my children for me, I raise them for God. God knew them before they were born and He trusts me enough to hand them over to me. The mere thought of God’s trust in me is overwhelming. I know I am an imperfect being, how am I supposed to raise two perfect people? I am not, God knows we are not perfect and He is okay with that. My job, as a mother is to raise God-fearing, loving, caring, obedient Christian adults. The only way I can do this is to turn to God every step of the way. I will not and cannot rely on my ability alone, there is no point because I will fail. My children look to me for guidance and I look to God. I will try to reflect Him and hope that my kids will reflect me and in turn reflect Him. I will teach my children what is important in life and what can be left aside. I will teach my children to live their lives according to God’s desires and not by what the new cool trend is. My kids will know that God’s love is unfailing and everlasting. He will not abandon those who praise His name. My kids will know that we do not do good things for God but because of God. I will teach my kids that yes, you do need to go to church especially when those around you don’t think going to church is cool. My kids will know not to be ashamed or embarrassed by their Christian faith but to wear it like a shield and to always remember what God has done for them. My kids will know to pray when things are good and when things are bad. I will teach my kids respect and courtesy no matter how they are treated and I will teach my kids to pray for those who are not taught these things. My children will return to God in a way that is pleasing to Him.
Happy Mothers’ Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment